And let the fun begin…
You know youre in the heat of summer when it seems like you don’t even have time to sit down and relax, let alone accomplish anything that is anything like a hobby. So, we just got back from vacation and then we’re off next week to visit my mother- and father-in-law. They’re in Hart, Michigan. Apparently, there’s some kinda music festival happening about 15 minutes south of them the day we were planning on leaving. So, we’re going up the day before so we don’t get caught in a traffic jam. It’s the first year for the festival and this small town is expecting 33,000 people to camp on their acreage. WOW!! So, I can guarantee that it will be hell down there. Yes, there is a way around – but why even bother when my in-laws are so nice, I won’t put up a fight to visit one more day…
So, that’s where we’re spending 4th of July. Last year, I about had an anxiety attack worrying about all the fireworks being blown off in our neighbor’s yard. I called the cops three times and NOTHING ever happened. And with the 4th being on a Friday this year, I can guarantee their bash will be even bigger this year. So, I’d rather just get the heck out of dodge and go someplace pretty relaxing. They do have fireworks, on the beach – which should be nice. And I’m looking forward to being in the pool quite a bit. They’re place is so nice. It’s always relaxing and the company’s not half bad. 
Oh, and the food is to die for!! Man, Dan’s mom knows how to cook. And they grow a whole bunch of stuff, organically and it’s always fresh and yummy. I can’t wait.
Man alive. I need a vacation after my vacation. LOL
Ok – so we went camping to Indiana Beach in Monticello, Indiana. We went lots of times when I was a kid and I wanted to pass the tradition down to my kids. Also, my sister and her husband have a permanent site near there and my mom and dad were visiting them.
We left on Thursday and just got back on Monday. It was busy, busy, busy. First off, there’s enough to do if we just went by ourselves. But add to that what other people wanted to do and the added benefit of my brother-in-law having a boat and you have lots of things to do with no time left. We didn’t even go on his boat. We saw it – but that was it.
The kids loved the “circus”, as AJ keeps calling it. We ended up going on rides for three days. AJ wants to go on a roller coaster. But the height requirement means he can’t. He rode Kiddyland rides with Zach. He played some games. The first stuffed animal he won, he gave to his brother. AWE!! Let’s see – he also got an ice cream that was so cold, his lip stuck to it, he pulled and he had a bloody lip! And we went to the beach and the kids got to get nice and sandy. Forget the water – the sand is the interesting thing for my kids! They had a splash station, which Zach enjoyed – but it was a tiny bit cold that day and breezy. So, we didn’t get to enjoy it as thoroughly as we would have liked.
So, it was exhausting. Add to that – Zach did not want to sleep. He wanted to be included in all things, fun or not. If the sun was out and shining, he was up. He did not nap but 20 minutes for three days straight. And this is a guy that loves his sleep – typically 12 hours at night and 3-4 hour naps. He was lucky if he was sleeping 9 hours at night. So, today, he’s sleeping, catching up. He slept from 8pm to 8am last night, ate breakfast, another bottle and is still sleeping as of 11:30am. He’s got lots to catch up on. That’s fine. Because I’m exhausted and don’t want to deal with him today. LOL
Plus – I need to do laundry, unpack, grocery shop and work. You definitely need a day after vacation to catch up on all the extra chores a vacation creates! So, I must leave you now and go try to make my house “normal” once again.
Been packing for vacation. Leaving tomorrow morning. Will post some pictures when I get back. Going to Indiana Beach in Monticello, Indiana.
Friday night was fabulous. First of all – it’s time away from the kids. LOL I love them to death. 24/7 of them is bad. Time off for mommy is grand!!
So, my husband came home early to watch them and apparently everyone was in bed by 8:00! GASP – THAT NEVER HAPPENS TO ME!! How lucky he was. Although apparently he only found out how tired AJ (3 1/2) was when they went to the video store and he had a meltdown. OOPS.
Back to the crop. There was a lady there with a 7-week old. There was no twinge yet of wanting a baby. So, I take it as a good sign that we’re putting of trying to conceive. (It’s also a good thing, since you shouldn’t be on Lexapro while baby’s lungs are developing.) Then my friend, Julie. She’s 36 weeks pregnant and a little uncomfortable. She was a tiny pissed at the poor quality prints from Walgreens. They were very dark. My guess is there was a custom colorization on the batch before hers and they didn’t change it. They were very poor quality. Made her daughter look evil – hard to do with such a cutie pie face! So, she was less than motivated and also only had one set of pictures to scrapbook besides the bad photos. And the other gal at our table was a newbie. She was asking for advice and techniques. I was very motivated to scrap. I probably got about 10 pages done in a course of 6 1/2 hours. Very impressive. I am working on scanning all my pages to my scrapbook “gallery” here… http://seemyscrap.com/cpg/index.php?cat=10188 It’s a slow process, but it’s going.
I finally got a compliment from a stranger on one of my pages. That feels really good. Actually I received one at the crop and I just noticed one on my blog at www.seemyscrap.com. It feels good to hear people say your pages are nice or pretty. All that work and someone thinks they look good. My husband says it, but he’s obligated, isn’t he? LOL
Ok – off to pack for vacation. It completely snuck up on me and I feel very tense at the moment. I don’t know why, but I thought it was a week away and we’re leaving Thursday. I work Wednesday – so I have two days! It’s enough – I just like more time to think about it.
Oh, and the Lexapro is working pretty well. I’m feeling pretty good – less tense, irritable. I’m sleeping better – except my 15-month-old is night-waking again. So, I’m happy about the meds working. Now, if I could just get Zach to sleep through the night again. My guess is it’s a growth spurt. He’s sleeping 18-19 hours a day and eating almost every waking minute!
Alright – I was so spacey that I forgot to publish my last blog entry. That was from two days ago. Maybe three.
My doctor and I talked and she states, after asking me bunches of questions and filling out a form, that I am SEVERELY depressed. WOW. So, I guess it’s not my imagination. So, I have on Lexapro.
She had asked about history of depression in myself or my family. I told her that we have many alcoholics in the family and I had post-partum depression soon after Zach was born. I thought the colic was to blame for that. She states that I’ve probably been depressed for a good long time. It’s a disease, like high blood pressure or high cholesterol. If left untreated, it becomes worse and worse. With medication, it can be managed. You may be able to come off the medication – but depression should usually be treated for 9-12 months.
With my PPD, I only took Zoloft for about 2 1/2 months. She actually got a little mad when I told her that. She wanted to know who treated me. It was my midwife and she told me that she could only write prescriptions for Zoloft for 3 months, after that I would need to see my general practitioner. Well, I didn’t have one at the time. Or at least one that I trusted. AJ, Zach and I were going to a family doctor and it turned out she was really not modern and up on the most recent things in medicine. So, I was in the process of switching the boys over to a new doctor and didn’t look for mine yet.
So, here I am – Day 2 of Lexapro. Yesterday I was VERY tired all day. Seemed drugged. But maybe it was the fact that AJ woke up in the middle of the night and I had a couple waking episodes myself. Today I feel pretty good. Not tired. I actually have some energy and I feel like I can concentrate a little better than yesterday.
So – we may venture to the community pool today. But it all depends on if the weather cooperates. I’m a little nervous handling both of the kids in the pool. But hopefully AJ is ok by now. He is almost 4 years old. I think he will probably splash all over the place. I hope he enjoys it.
YUM!
All else is quiet. I am looking forward to talking with the doctor tomorrow. I had another rough day today. But it might be multiplied by my tired boys. We go to dinner most Sundays to my Mother’s house. Last night she had grilled chicken, mashed potatoes, veggies and rolls. It was really yummy. Didn’t get home until 10:15pm and the boys refuse to nap in the car these days…
Stay tuned for my results tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll want bloodwork, as I haven’t done that in a couple years.
He’s been worried about me. And he’s glad we’re putting off trying to conceive or third child. Because of how I’m handling just the two of them.
Anyways, it was good to talk to him. It took having three or fours beers to loosen the lips, but it was good to talk. He agrees that something is wrong. And if it takes going to the doctor and finding out what it is and if medication is needed, then that’s what it takes. He’d rather have me on depression medication than self-medicating.
His worry is the need for long-term medication. I really don’t anticipate that. Sometimes I feel like I’m out of my gourd and other times I’m feeling fine. One thing I do know is that my sleeping sucks. I’ve been getting on average about 5 hours of sleep a night. Is that healthy or normal? I don’t know. I don’t feel tired – but who knows. And it’s not because of my kids – it’s because of my crazy brain – not turning OFF!
So, no answers until Tuesday. I’ll let you know…
I won’t even begin to write stuff, because it will all be a blurry mess. I have a doctor’s appointment set for Tuesday. I’m thinking anxiety or depression. Who knows. Or maybe I’m just a normal stressed-out mom. We’ll see.
I couldn’t sleep again last night. 10:30 – went up to bed. I don’t think I fell asleep until 2:30 or 3:00. What’s funny is that this morning, I didn’t feel tired. Hmph.
So, I can’t get my brain to stop or slow down. It’s driving me crazy. It took from 11:30pm to 2:30am for me to go to sleep. I woke up and my brain was on “fast” again.
I’m going to be making an appointment with my doctor to discuss Depression/anxiety. This is nuts. I am completely exhausted, but can’t go to sleep. I have opportunities in the daytime to take a nap and I can’t. I can’t sit still. I have this inane (and insane) desire to do SOMETHING. ANYTHING. Cleaning, my hobbies, shopping. Just anything to keep me busy. My mind busy.
I’ve even taken stesp to try to “empty” my brain out. I’ve taken to writing things on a calendar, instead of remembering them. After all, I’ve been forgetting stuff lately. I try to read at night to slow down. And then as soon as my head hits the pillow, my mind races again. I just CAN’T relax. My body or my mind won’t let me. It’s crazy. I want to relax, but I feel like if I do, I’ll just explode. I sit in a chair and then bop my knee up and down.
GAH!!!!!!!
Ha. I’ve had my heart on giving birth to a girl. As a matter of fact, we were supposed to be trying to conceive out third child, hopefully a girl this month “according to the plan”.
However, my husband and I discussed delaying “the plan”. So, we’re holding off for a bit. Well, I was outside with my boys this evening. And my neighbors were outside. Or I should say the 10-year old girl was, with a bunch of her friends. Because the mom would never pay attention to ANY of her kids.
So, these girls were just plain rude and cruel to each other. But I remember doing the same as a girl. Calling someone a brat, or being called a brat and then crying about it. And then arguing about who said what and getting offended about the feelings you have about the situation. It was so funny, but I had to take the boys inside.
I was getting peeved that the mom came out and listened for two minutes and then just popped open her beer can, lit up her cigarette and walked back inside. And the arguing continued.
So, do I really want a girl?? YES. I like to firmly believe that I can raise a girl who is confident and moderate. I would like to think that I can teach all my children to be polite and not call people names. But, AJ is even doing that now – although in fun. Calling people “booty-pants”. Ah, how innocent. LOL
