I’m having real issues with what my husband thinks I am. He says he knows it’s tough work to take care of two kids at home while trying to work. But I don’t really think he really knows. I swear, he thinks all I do is play or sit and watch TV all day.
The DSL modem died about two weeks ago and we had to have a guy come and troubleshoot and replace our modem. Well, the kids were with me. He wanted to know how to set up his laptop to get the wireless connection and I told him what I knew and he asked why we paid $179 for a tech to come out and I didn’t know how to connect to the wireless connection. I mean – come on. AJ and Zach were beyond their nap times at this point and were yelling and screaming at each other. Am I really supposed to know all these details??
All I freaking do all day every day is clean after him and my sons – doing laundry, dishes, laundry, cleaning messes, laundry, cleaning toys and oh yeah, did I mention laundry?? And then there’s the feeding of everyone. Yeah, sometimes I don’t make dinner – well, most times. But I’m getting that done more and more often. But there is breakfast and lunch and all the snacks the boys need during the day. And the multiple drink refills. And the queueing of movies and the going outside to the park, to the backyard. I hardly get to get my at-home work done, let alone have some me time. If I do have some me-time, it’s typically me telling AJ to go watch a movie while Zach is napping so I can catch my sanity back. And then I clean the kitchen and do the laundry before I sit to relax and then Zach wakes up about two minutes later.
Perfect example was an experience we had while camping this weekend. I appreciated that my husband took Zach at 6:00am out of the trailer since I was up all night with him and he had been up since 4:30am. So, finally, Zach and he went in to take a nap. That was fine. AJ and I hung out. I loved it – we rarely get to spend alone time together anymore. I go to put AJ into a nap and I go out with my book and my iPod and literally sat in the chair and heard Zach on the monitor. Are you kidding me????
Anyway – I guess I’m just feeling unappreciated once again. I NEVER get thank-yous. It really sucks. And then when I complain about it, I get a thank-you right then and there and never again until I complain again. And then I’m feeling something – not sure – I have to take medication everyday of my life to feel “normal” and I really don’t. I know medication is not the end-all, be-all answer. I just thought it would help more. I also feel like if I didn’t have kids, I probably wouldn’t be on medication – they are the ones testing my patience and making me irritable. I can handle not sleeping. I’ve done it for years.
Ok – enough of the negative. And I’m sorry – I have nothing really positive to add in there right now. I’ve just had a rough couple of weeks and feel like no one (my husband) appreciates how much effort goes into all the mini-vacation planning and packing and then keeping the house clean and stocked. And I never get time off. I need a break.
