LOL I’ve just been thinking that it is a rather stupid idea to have a baby, who can not speak to go through teething. My 22-month old child (yes, he really doesn’t speak much) is breaking in his two-year molars and he is just miserable. He can’t tell me why he won’t nap. He can’t tell me why he’s waking at 7:30am crying. All he knows is that his mouth hurts, but he’s not telling me.
AND – how weird is it that in “Chicago” it was 60 degrees yesterday and this morning it is 24!!!! We enjoyed some nice warm weather, although rainy. We actually went outside and tried out the new helmet and horn Santa left AJ. He loved them.
That’s it. Short one today. 
I really don’t know what the problem is. However, I have a few “reasons” why I feel this way.
First, we switch years for visiting for Christmas. One year, we go to my family for Christmas and then New Year’s at the in-laws. The next year, it’s the opposite. This year was supposed to be Christmas at the in-laws. But it has officially been cancelled because of Mother Nature. She is a cruel beast that is getting in between a peaceful, relaxing Christmas get-away and my family. It sucks. I was really looking forward to it.
Secondly, I’m now not looking forward to going to celebrate Christmas where we are now (thanks to the cancellation above). I am a little tired of a certain person who will be there and don’t really feeling like putting on my “happy face”. But I love Christmas and I will go celebrate. I know my mom loves it, too. She will spoil my kids rotten and we will have tons to bring home.
Thirdly, I have just been worn down. Three weeks of preparation to put into Christmas. It’s a lot of work. I’m exhausted.
Fourthly, my husband blurted out my Christmas gift. I am excited to find out what it is. It’s the Cricut. For scrapbooking. Secretly, I’ve been wanting one since they came out. They came out with a more portable, affordable die-cut machine named Slice. I talked myself into wanting that one instead. But I really do want the Cricut. LOL But I love surprises. I love Christmas gifts. I love to see what other people would like to get me. While I do spit out a list every year, I secretly hope that someone will buy off the list. Buy something that they think I would like. And hopefully, I would.
Fifthly, (is that a word??) I just sort of glanced over a lot of Christmas traditions this year. I didn’t make cookies. I’m not really listening to a lot of Christmas music. Plus I had a lot of added “chores”. AJ has pre-school and he had a party the parents had to plan and attend. I wanted to get family pictures done for the Christmas card and that didn’t happen.
So, I just needed to write that down. I’m hoping that by purging all these negative thoughts, postive ones can flow in and help get me through these next couple days with the holiday spirit I so overwhelmingly desire.
Here’s another rarity- Mom’s night out. The title explains itself, but I’ll explain. Mom by herself going out with other moms, by themselves. No kids. Bliss. Heaven. LOL
As much as you love your kids, you need to get away once in a while. It’s been since mid-October for me. Usually it involves scrapbooking. But not tonight. Tonight was having a dinner that I didn’t have to cut into small pieces or share with anyone and some alcoholic beverages at a posh chic place in “downtown” Morris. It was nice. The atmosphere was relaxing and yet exciting. Tense with discussion, but not discipline. LOL. There was no yelling – well, not child yelling. There was no crying. Well, I take that back. Someone was explaining how their children had touched their life – so it was good crying. And there was no changing diapers. And that one, I mean – no changing diapers. LOL
It’s always nice to get out and converse with other adults. Although, we have a tendency to still talk about our children. After all, they ARE our lives. We live for them. We stay home for them. We work for them. They are a part of us that we want to succeed MORE than we did. There is no better thing in my life than my children – sorry, Dan – but that includes you, my husband. Yes, there are days in which I want them to just behave or act nicer, or just stop screaming – but those moments are few and far between. The ones that really matter are the days in which you were able to step back and store in your memory a beautiful moment. A giggle, a look. A phrase, an action. Something that makes your heart smile. Those are the moments that make all those bad moments just melt away. Those are also those moments in which I love to remember and recite to my friends to make them smile.
It’s been a while. You’d think with the theme that it was this fall. It’s actually from this last spring. LOL Almost a year. The kids do look the same, basically. But I guess I’ll work on changing my header.
So, I’ve weaned off Lexapro and having a hell of a time. Today, my ears are ringing and I feel very irritable and out-of-control. Any sound makes me jump nervously. I’ve read that this can happen for 4-6 weeks after your last dose. I had cut my doses in half and half and half until last Tuesday. I haven’t taken a pill since. I think I’m experiencing “brain zaps” that other people describe. I describe it as a migraine without the pain. Weird, huh?
But I’m hanging in there. I can’t feel like a zombie anymore. I think I felt better off the meds than on them. Even when I’m going through the withdrawal symptoms, I seem to feel better. So, we’ll see. I hope these brain zaps subside before Christmas. Nothing like coming off anti-depressants through the busiest season of my year. LOL
